Date Posted:
1/27/2004
Author:
Tom Lane
|
| |
One band member dominates and controls or has a contagiously bad attitude??
There's a new one-give that one a spanking!! It happens and more than it should that one becomes the self appointed critic, judge, opinion, leader, etc... Let's start with this, if you do have a leader then you are responsible to submit to them as unto God and give your best. One thing is certain, the dominating personality can dictate and drive the entire situation and cause more division and frustration among your team if you allow them to. Here again if it's problematic the leader should take initiative one on one to correct that person and be willing to part ways if they don't change their behavior, even if they are the best thing since sliced bread on their instrument! Don't procrastinate whatever you do, deal with it-but lovingly!!
Your leader doesn't allow you much freedom?
That's a tough one! There's always the issue of having to follow and support when you don't like it, that's life. There is a way however for leaders and band members to work together that makes for the best and happiest situations. You first have to choose whether or not you can support your leader. If you can't, find somewhere else to give your talents. If you can don't complain and gripe about those things you don't like! Learn, listen and view this as an opportunity for you to serve and grow. There will be other opportunities for you to lead or express your freedom. Having said that, leaders it's not a bad idea to let your band participate and flow naturally as bands can do! Build on that, discuss ideas, consider their opinions. Try going in different directions and leaving space for exploration in worship. Defer at times to the talents you share the platform with and practice that exploration and feedom in your rehearsals. The more each person feels valued and included the better they will play and serve and the more freedom there will be.
Your leader's style is dated or the music selection is boring?
Bring your ideas and suggestions to your leader and see if they're responsive and open to help or improvement. Sometimes they are not the most gifted but maybe the most willing! Honor them, let them know you do support them and want for their best. Have listening parties with your team and discuss what everyone likes and bring musical selections, CD's, music, new songs, etc. to try. You always play better when you like the material and style. Find the common ground and be flexible. A good leader knows their own limitations and surrounds themselves with those who improve them and are in many cases better. That brings up the issue of humility again, it's hard for some!
|
In seminars and conferences around the world I hear from leaders and band members many of the same ?'s regarding how to deal with conflicts. So I thought I'd spend some lines on the subject.
One thing that should set Christian musicians apart from the rest is how they handle conflict and the attitude they have in general. In past articles I've spoken of how we need to approach all of life and our music as servants-that's what caused Jesus to stand out. If you want to stand out learn how to manage conflicts well! In worship it's not that we can't be human with all our stuff but the bar is higher for those who strive to reflect a humble and Christlike spirit!
What do you do if...
There's a weak player in the band?
Fire them! No, actually someone make it their personal aim to help them improve and make constructive suggestions in private! If they are in fact a real hinderance or totally incapable of keeping up with the band, the leader should pull them aside privately and speak open and honestly about their weaknesses. Make every possible effort to grow them or direct them to private instruction with a goal to include them later on. You may also want to start a farm team or B team to mentor younger players. Offer alternatives and relationship in a positive and helpful way and don't talk behind their backs or be rude!
There's a performer personality?
We all bring our stuff with us into a band scenario and platform. The good news is that God is aware of it and lovingly deals with us. We aren't heart police but can help encourage those who love the moments in the limelight or in the lead. Whatever you do don't bash them! If you you see something that would help them or have advice to give be sure you've prayed and that it comes from a healthy loving place. Then go to them personally and don't take two or three to back you up! As a rule with relational and character issues don't discuss it with others before you go to the person. Always ask how you'd like to be treated!
One member shows up late consistently for rehearsals and arrives just in time to play for the service?
Dock their pay! You mean you're getting paid? That would be one way to expect more from band members and get it but most are not paid in churches! That's a whole other article!! Again commitment to the team is important but you have to build your program based on what the reality is for the entire band. FInd the happy medium for schedules, jobs, families, etc. Make clear what expectations are. For leaders that does mean considering and including your band in the process. If members then fail to adhere to requirements and schedules, remind them that everyone agreed when they signed on and it's unfair for some and not all to be faithful. It is an issue of priorities, responsibility, and ultimately character no matter what! It may also take only one band member expressing their frustration and feelings of unfairness or inconsideration with that person to shape them up a bit. There are extenuating circumstances and certainly the worship team isn't more important than family or spouses! Weigh all of your priorities, count the cost before you commit, and be people of your word!
|
 |
